By Natalie De Paz (follow @GNATPOET on Instagram)
As we all know, SCITizens always bring it when they’re onstage. Here are some of the looks they’ve been serving while they #stayhome, along with my personal expert commentary. Please note, I’ve been watching a lot of Drag Race. I was liberal in my interpretations of these looks and in my exclamation point usage and I don’t regret it!
Riley is serving Jessica Velveteen Rabbit realness! I always knew couch covers are a smart investment, but I never knew they could be so chic! This train is ready to leave the station but it’s keeping that caboose at home.
Sarah calls this look “Halloween in May.” I say, matching pants to your home accessories is the new trend no one is talking about but everyone secretly wants to try. Me-ow! A perfect cat eye completes the mysterious, witchy look.
Jon David calls his look “Sleep-Deprived Jon David.” I call it “Wistful Wolverine.” I feel as though he’s in a waking dream, meadows reflected in his eyes, dreaming of running free with the other X-Men. Plus, Jimmy Neutron ain’t got nothing on this hair swoop!
Ryder looks like he means business. I can tell that if his dragon doesn’t fly exactly right or someone insults his zeppelin piloting skills, he’ll open a telekinetic can of whoop-ass on whoever is responsible.
Seraphina looks as though she is saying, “Where’s my spellbook? I need to hex Jeff Bezos.”
Quinn is serving us a reminder that we are all made of stardust and contain multitudes. We may be stuck at home, but we are all part of something bigger and more beautiful: a world with fun leggings! Universe-al healthcare, anyone? Quinn is at @TyphonIsKing on Instagram. Go give them a follow!
Eric calls this look “Pure Camp.” This is the only look I got to ~experience~ IRL at Trader Joe’s. Peep the brown bag eleganza in the back! Despite having seen this outfit in person, I have no idea what that string is for or what it is attached to. Still, Eric definitely looks like he could help us find our way back home after going together on a harrowing coming-of-age adventure.
Amanda is serving The Real Housewives of Shadyside camp! This housewife looks like she sure needs a break from homeschooling her little rascals. Mommie Dearest will help you with fractions once she’s finished her White Claw!
Tricia wrote her own caption: Here we have Tricia Pennington giving us life as an undead beauty guru. Note how she uses brown eyeshadow to highlight her (designer) under-eye bags and sunken lids, and how an overzealous amount of blush takes her nose from healthy and thriving to “needs more tissues!” A gray contour on the cheeks gives her those beautifully sunken and undernourished zombie cheekbones. And let’s not forget how a simple eyebrow pencil takes those perfectly manicured brows and makes them look like a forest needing to be tweezed! Finishing the look off, she uses some concealer and eyeshadow around the mouth for that “get this girl some water” couture. Girl, you are making that quarantine mental breakdown WERK!
Michael also provided his own captions:
I spend most of my afternoons, as we all do, working on my Sad Boi Bedroom Quarantine acoustic guitar albums. You can tell I’m sensitive because of my horn-rimmed glasses; you can tell I’m woke because I’m drinking a Hispanic ginger beer. If you assumed that I must be barefoot, you are correct.
After my intolerable songwriting sessions, I like to kick back in an owl onesie and watch some light television. I can’t afford cable and my TV weighs 1,000 pounds, but I make do.
Once my sides have stopped aching from laughter at Andy’s hijinks, I put on my SWAT vest, grab my kendo stick, and spend the entire night guarding my door in case rabid COVID-deniers decide to Purge my apartment building. Eventually, exhausted, I fall asleep standing up, wake up slumped against the doorframe at the crack of noon, and do this all over again.
A special thanks to all of the SCITizens that submitted their Quarentine-couture photos! If you’d like to be featured in the next edition of “All Dressed up” please send your photos to PR@steelcityimprov.com